Ok, so my rant today is quite a common one, but a good one none the less. For those of you who out there who travel on public transport reguarly, you will know exactly what I'm talking about. Picture this. You walk out of your favourite shop in Reading whether it be Paperchase, Waterstones or Ann Summers (those arent my favourite shops..What? ;) ) and it is peeing it down with rain. You peer at your watch...or a nearby clock..your mobile or ask a passer by who always, always, always seems to reply "time you got a watch". Well you know what smart arse?? I have a watch, and I can tell you exactly where it is on my bedside table, so that one didn't really work out for ya, did it? Anyway, you only have a couple of minutes till your bus,so you start speed walking it down the highstreet. Not always the best...for those of you who have a big bum like me and can't help but swing your hips when you walk will know exactly what I'm talking about...and those 40 year old perverts I mentioned in my blog yesterday always seem to be around at this point. So ignoring the odd whistle and "Damn Girl" (For those of you who know my friend Sophie Brigden..yes I did picture her in my mind when I wrote this :D ) and putting a look on your face that looks like you're abouto kill someone who gets in your way, you get to the corner of the road you need to catch your bus on...and low and behold...it's there. This is when you suddenly transform in to Usain Bolt and send old dear Grannies flying as you race to that bulbous red, green, orange, whatever colour, four wheeled transport that you need to get home. You see the last person step onto the bus, pay...you're only a few strides away...and...arghhh... the doors close. And your banging on that door, like it's your ex boyfriend's face, and you know that plump man behind the steering wheel can hear you but nope he's just going to pretend that your not there and drive off. Now this is that tense moment where everyone is staring at you as the bus passes you, your already drenched and looking like a drown rat, and you get all the "ti bois* on the top deck swearing at you, and you want to swear back but something holds you back. Maybe its holding on to that last bit of dignity you had or..its the fact that bus has stopped at the traffic lights and you'll be too embarrased. However, inside your head all the swear words in the sun are spinning around like a little kid on a merry go round, and you curse the day that man ever became a bus driver.
Does he have no concience? Or is he just blaming you for his lame career choice, because he was the ti boi*who sat in the back of class, mouthed back to the teacher, did no work, and started smoking before he even came out the womb. Whosat in exams and did nothing thinking he was so cool. Now he's blaming you because you put the work in and can afford to buy nice clothes and not have to stay all day and night in your work uniform, and are off to university to do something good with your life! ARGGHHHH.
So my advice to you. The next time you get screwed over by a bus driver and are left standing on the side of the road, take a moment to smile to yourself, because you will never end up being that much of a wanker.
I would just like to say, that no bus drivers were harmed in the making of this blog, and if any bus drivers are reading this... this is just a typical stereotype and in no way is meant to say you are a wanker...you may be a very nice bus driver... unless you have done exactly what I have just said in my blog in which case you are a massive wanker, and should man up and get over it.
*Oh and for those of you who have not been blessed with the presence of my gorgeous boyfriend jamie, ti boi is the name he has given to all those little chavvy kids who annoy the hell out of you and think they are all hard, and put picture of their completely untoned stomach on facebook and have the caption "look at my six pack".... uhhh what?? Ti boi is in fact short for batti boi so enjoy using that little peice of joyous vocablary.
Thankyou for reading and I will be back again with another rant about something that people really dont care about. Your, over emotional blogger, ThatsSoLisa. Toodles xxx
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