Why I chose to go Vegan.

**Disclaimer: This is a personal choice due to my beliefs and research I have accumulated over time. In no way is this a judgement on people who are not vegetarian or vegan - you do you. I just wanted to share my personal journey and the research that has helped me towards my decision. My decision has not effected anyone around me. My partner and family have not gone vegan just because I have - again, this was a personal choice. I did this for me.**

It has always been a curiosity of mine to see how a diet change would effect the way I feel on a daily basis. I have recently been diagnosed as gluten and dairy intolerant - so you can imagine that most of my life has been a bloaty, ill and ,sometimes extremely, painful mess. You would think I would have blamed the food I was eating faster, but due to suffering from anxiety, it was easily blamed as the cause. That was until I was finally able to seek the help of a dietitian, who gave me a full diagnosis and helped me along the way to feeling a little better. However I still wasn't entirely happy with the food I was eating.

I was vegetarian for 9 years of my life, and for a while it has been something I have wanted to return to. Due to being vegetarian from birth, my body cannot break down meats such as lamb, pork or duck - they make me very ill. Part of my anxiety is caused by food preparation - especially when it comes to meat. I will not go into detail of "why" right now, but for hours after consuming meat I'm constantly thinking about what I've just eaten and whether it was cooked properly. This worry consumes my daily life and exhausts me.

Since beginning to research in detail vegetarianism and veganism, I also found myself wondering if the meat I was eating had been ethically sourced. I have always been a lover of animals, and from a very young age have cared for several pets. Animals have no way of voicing how they are feeling other than changing their behavior. They cannot just tell you they feel unwell, or are in pain, or that they just know something is wrong and need to go to the vet. The thought an animal is suffering with no way of voicing their pain, and is being put in that uncomfortable situation to contribute to consumer items that humans don't really need, stirs up such anger and upset in me that it is hard to explain. Food is not the only thing animals are exploited and used for. The cosmetic industry has not escaped my research, and neither has fashion - these will be covered in future blogs. Yes there are of course different ways to source meat, but for me, not being able to prove that meat or eggs came from an ethical source is enough to put me off.

And it is not just the animals that benefit from humans choosing to live a vegetarian or vegan life. Planet Earth does also. Global Warming can no longer be denied, and everyone should start thinking about their carbon footprint... veganism and vegetarianism can help reduce yours. In order for an animal to reach your plate it takes land, fuel, water - a tonne of waste.

"If we really want to reduce the human impact on the environment, the simplest and cheapest thing anyone can do is to eat less meat. Behind most of the joints of beef or chicken on our plates is a phenomenally wasteful, land- and energy-hungry system of farming that devastates forests, pollutes oceans, rivers, seas and air, depends on oil and coal, and is significantly responsible for climate change" (The Guardian, 2016).

In conclusion - I get to reduce my carbon footprint, eat knowing that the food I am eating has not contributed to unnecessary pain and an unfulfilled, miserable life and I get to feel much better than I ever have before. No more bloating and feeling spodgy. Personally, I feel like that is a win, win. And my bunnies love all the extra veggies in the fridge <3 

They love just watching they world go by. 

Resources used in this blog: 

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/jul/18/vegetarianism-save-planet-environment

I hate the gym.

Its a place solely for people to better themselves and become fitter and possibly even happier in the way they feel, the way they look. However there's seems to be a complete divide of species in the gym. The people that are there because they want to work hard through blood sweat and tears. And the people that have a membership so their social media page can scream I'm fit and healthy and they can buy overly prices bold coloured leggings that do nothing for the workout whatsoever but draw attention - one thing a lot of people in the gym do not want to do. I mean yeah they're pretty, but I do not have £30 of money to spare for something to be drenched in sweat. If you wanna shift that weight you better get your sweat on. 

I get so annoyed at the gym. Its like being in one of those high school america films. *Would you look at Karen Smith's gym clothes*. While I was at the gym one girl physically stripped down in front of everyone. Now I am torn between the feminist in me which believes power to women and wear what you want and the part of me that thinks its completely unnecessary in an air conditioned gym.  Like, come on. And whilst working out you're meant to keep your muscles warm so there really was no logic involved.

There's also the people that believe it necessary to stare at you. I'm on the treadmill looking like a fricking tomato and sweating like a pig... I do not want your face in my face, BITCH. (I am quoting a lot here).

And the girls who turn up with their hair and make up perfect... ITS THE GYM. Stop making the rest of us who care about make up seeping into our pores and don't give a crap about gym hair feel bad. 

UGH.

Yes, I wrote this after a work out. And no I will not apologise for this rant. 

So. Done.

I just want to take my water bottle and bop people right between their eyebrows with it. 

Fitness Diary: Getting Back into "It".

I, for the most part, have always had a very active lifestyle. When I was younger I was a cross-country runner, and in my teen years I was an Olympic and National Champion Cheerleader. However, now I am a graduate, and while this is one of my greatest achievements to date, I can see the many assignment deadlines and show weeks taking up lodgings on my stomach and thighs. 

This is a blog I have to approach with caution and maybe even some disclaimers. I in no way shape or form believe I am fat, or that I need to loose weight. I'm a size 8/10 on top and a 12 on the bottom, sizes I believe to be very healthy. I just simply want to be a bit less wobbly (ha.) and fitter. I think one thing I always forget about exercise is that actually - after the dread and actual struggle to get myself up off of my butt - I actually really enjoy it and love that "after exercise feeling". Its the initial getting motivated that I hate.Cause lets be honest - I'd rather be sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine, some hazelnut chocolate, a tub of Ben and Jerry's watching PPL on netflix. The kind of behavior that got me to this "i'm not as confident as I once was" state in the first place. I fricking love food. My god the amount I could eat at a  what ever you want all day buffet could put a body builder to shame. I pretty much eat what I want, when I want. 

I personally cannot diet. By this I mean cut out whole food groups or make myself eat less. Diets may work for some people amazing, but for me I just don't have that kind of willpower. and if I am entirely honest I don't believe they work long term. If you cut out a food group to loose weight, get to your goal weight and start eating normally again - you will put weight back on. It's inevitable. You're body also won't be used to breaking that food group down so you're likely to put on more weight quicker than you were before. Unless you make a life long commitment to a diet - I commend you if you have - the most effective way to loose weight will be to eat balanced and exercise regularly. 

SO, This blog isn't really coming to you at the start of my journey.. more 5% through. I think before you initially take that first step back into exercise, there are a few steps you have to tackle first. This may help anyone who is thinking of joining a gym, starting a few home workouts, or anything exercise related. 

1. Become comfortable with how your body is now. Know what you love and hate. That way you have a goal. 

2. Understand nothing will happen over night. You won't have the perfect workout or technique straight away.

4. Can you make the commitment? Don't waste money on a gym membership you do not intend to use.

5. Allow yourself to learn and discover. Everyone is different, what works for one person may not work for you. 

6. Remember - girls can lift and no you won't become like a man. The BIGGEST myth in gym history...do you know how long it takes for a man to look like "a man" by societies standards (far from my own may I just point out)... Years. If it happened over night for girls, men would be so pissed. 

7. EAT. Your body needs to repair itself. I'm talking carbs and protein being your best friend. 

8. Do not under any circumstances compare yourself. Everyone is at different parts in their journey. 

This blog, or new blog series, is for me. To keep track and motivate myself. I feel as if it's out here on the internet for people to read, I'll have something to work towards writing at the end of my day. I like that thought. This is not out there to educate people, as I am by no means an expert, I just want to blog about my experiences. I enjoy blogging, I enjoy exercising...so why not combine the two. And maybe my research will expand and soon I may be able to share my knowledge. 

I guess we'll see what happens. 

Becoming A Graduate Stress

**Disclaimer. I haven't blogged in such a long time, and I really miss it. So I ended up just going blahhhhh on to the page. Welcome to the inner workings of my mind. I'm sorry if it bores you, but sometimes you just need to write. Right? I couldn't work out if this was a blog to me, or to other undergraduates but either way I feel so much better now. I had no plan for my blog, this is literally just how my thought process went.**

University is an incredibly stressful and time consuming commitment. Pretty much for the three years you attend university, your brain will barely flicker on to something else before it returns with a crash to deadlines, the amount of work you have to do or should be doing, and your heavy social calender. You become an A* procrastinator, who by their dissertation realises "oh fuck, this is why you start in advance rather than the night before, I don't have enough time. Fuck, fuck, fuck. " You pull out some hair, eat lots of junk food, drink bottles of wine - because lets be honest none of your glasses are clean, and cry until grades are up and you breathe a sigh of relief. And for a split second you think you can relax.

Oh no my friend.

On a theatre course or any other art based course you will then have to stress about your final major project. Which will probably and hopefully have the same outcome as my dissertation. I'll stress ridiculous amounts, cry into some Ben and Jerry's and be thankful when it's all over...THEN be hit with major after show blues and wish I could do it all over again. Unless I fail... then I'd think fuck that. BUT that shouldn't happen. *cue nervous laughter and a quick move on*

Those previously mentioned after show blues made worse by the fact that in just under 2 months I am no longer going to be an undergraduate. As well as rewarding, that previous statement is completely terrifying. And any other postgraduates reading this will know how it feels. 

Being at university, you get a big dose of independence. Meaning that you want to move out and get on with your life as an adult with your freshly rewarded degree. Your planning may go something like this... Ok I'm going to move to London, get an amazing job, earn money and live a fantastic life.... with no money and a bundle of equally qualified unemployed competition. Yay. 

I'm making this sound really great aren't I?

God. It's scary.

AND, can I just ask, where the hell did these three years go?! It feels like a week ago I was gripping on to my banister at home begging not to go to university and now I'm here, about to graduate.... Sorry. What? 

Sending out applications does not ease the stress, nor does looking at places you can't afford, and looking at ways to fund further education that you may not get. 

I'm making this sound reeeaalllyy great, but in the sad scheme of things its the truth. Coming out of university is bleak...as fuck. 

BUT... you know what. Everything is going to be ok. 

When I graduate I'm only going to be 20 years old. My other half will only be 24. We are so so young, right? I have my whole life to live. And as much as graduating is stressful, there are some parts of it that are extremely exciting. 

A few examples... moving somewhere you actually want to live rather than the shit hole of a city your university is in. Starting something new and narrowing your career path to a certain profession with a Masters. Meeting new people. Experiencing new things.

And yes I am still waiting on a few acceptance or rejection letters and I don't know where I'm going to find myself next year  (possibly on the steps of my chosen university for a masters begging to let me have a place. They don't even need to give me a chair in the lecture room, I'll be happy in the floor.) BUT the first thing I'm doing when I graduate is travelling. And I've never been more excited. AND I'm turning 21! Which is just fabulous. 

So if you're going through the same issues and have no idea where your heading in life, remember so many people are in your position. Plan to do something you've always wanted to do and look forward to it. You deserve it! You went and got a bloody degree now its time to celebrate. And everything else?...No one has it all figured out, just remember that. 

Pick up your overly large glasses of wine and cheers with me to not knowing, and just going along with the ride. Because...why the hell not. 

Cheers.

xxx

My bucket list :)

This has been a long long time coming. But I'm glad I waited to do this as I think I finally have a better idea of the person I really am. I like to live in the moment and be spontaneous. I like to laugh out loud realllyyyy loudly, sing every second of the day and wear really bright colours. I don't really know what the future holds for me, and that's ok, because whatever it is I'm going to enjoy the hell out of it. Let's be honest, who really knows where they will be in 5 years time? If someone asks me when I'm all old and frail to look back on my life and describe it in one word I would like to say "happy". And I'd like to look back and recall my memories of all these events...
Some of these have been/ will be ticked off, just so you know I'm serious about doing all of these.

1. Go out in a torrential rain storm just to dance, laugh and get absolutely drenched.
2. Dye my hair purple. All over. Like "boom! that girl's hair is purple" purple
3. Paraglide (TICK)
4. Own an apartment with fresh flowers on my dresser, a dressing table with an ikea draw make up collection, and a walk-in closet, over looking a busy city or the sea
5. Perform on a London stage more times than I can count on my fingers
6. Start performing randomly in big cities all over the world. Spontaneous street performing.
7. See a broadway show (TICK)
8. Own a pair of Christian louboutins
9. Bungee jump
10. Cliff dive
11. Sky dive (hopefully going indoor sky diving for my 20th and taking the big real deal leap for my 21st :))
12. See the world. (My friend Sophie gave me the idea of getting a scratch off map to keep track of my travels)
13. Go to disney land Florida and wear a princess dress and Minnie Mouse ears ALL DAY.
14. See the northern lights
15. Walk the Great Wall of China
16. Write my name on the Berlin Wall
17. Take a road trip across America
18. See the stars and I mean really see them. Star gaze in a place where there are no artificial lights
19. Write a book. Maybe several.
20. Own A LOT of pets
21. Meet a tiger. In a zoo obviously.
22. Go to the airport with a packed bag and some money. Number all the flights leaving that day and ask someone to choose a number. Get on that flight and explore wherever I end up
23. See the big Christmas tree. You know the one I'm talking about. The one in home alone two ;)
24. Host a massive gatsby style party
25. Create my own theatre company

This is not everything I want to do, but I felt like it was a good start to my list. I'll update on each one I tick off. It will take me a long time but I'll enjoy every second of it. What's on your bucket list?

Lisa-Nicole xo

Breaking the Silence

Wow it has been so long since I blogged. Insanely long. I absolutely love blogging but with the stressful year I had at university it happened to take a back seat. But now with it being summer I cannot wait to start it up again properly. You see - with my blog before I always had really random posts with quite long intervals. But this time I would like to have regular blogs. So fingers crossed I keep to it. I want this blog to be more about what makes me happy. Whether that be my achievements, what I have been up to, or knowing me - what I spend hopeless amounts of money on. Yes, my spending problem continues to strive. Yay for my bank account -.-. So for my re opening blog post of this summer I decided to make a list off the top of my head of all the things that make me happy :).

- The colour yellow
- The warm fuzzy feeling you get from cuddles with someone very special
- Fluffy, cozy slippers
- The feeling you get coming out of the cinema after watching an awesome film
- Ticking things off my bucket lists http://instagram.com/p/qT2ACmHhbq/?modal=true
- Catching up with my friends
- Singing really badly and loudly in the shower pretty much everywhere I go
- Laughing till my stomach hurts
- Spending time with my family
- The Theatre - anywhere, anytime, watching anything. The stage just makes me so happy.
- Acting <3 words just cannot express. Performing will always be my first love.
- Comfortable silences
- Going to sleep in a busy area. I like background noise.
- Doing stupid things with my sister unintentionally. This happens more than you would think http://instagram.com/p/c6XhdLHhaf/?modal=true
- Reading a book you just can't put down
- Bubble baths
- Those second day hair, no make up days
- A song with really good lyrics
- Having a productive day
- The feeling after you finish a work out
- Puppies. Husky puppies
- Reminiscing. I love talking over old memories with my nearest and dearest http://instagram.com/p/nmDKmdHhXH/?modal=true
- Walking or running in refreshing rain
- Eating what I want - I get so much joy from this. Fuck the diets.
- Little heart felt surprises  http://instagram.com/p/p67NXTnhX0/?modal=true
- Being able to waste my time with someone special. If it makes you happy it's time well spent http://instagram.com/p/qSbzkbnhUp/?modal=true
- Learning something new
- Travelling - seeing the culture and beautiful scenery of somewhere new http://instagram.com/p/qT2Ur8nhcG/?modal=true
- Doing something for a good cause. It may sound stupid but the £3 I give to tigers every month makes me feel very happy as they are my favourite animal. And the fact I will be venturing out to Morrocco to help under privileged children just.... I can't even explain how excited and grateful I am to have such an amazing opportunity. To help and to experience. I may have reached my target but I will continue to fundraise :) https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/lisanicolestevens
- Having interesting skills like stilt walking
- Acrobatics makes me so happy. It's so much fun.
- Bed. A lie in, an early night, I just love it
- A piece of work I've enjoyed doing to the best of my ability
- That just showered and moisturised feeling

- Cuddling with my teddies. Not ashamed at all

- Those days when you have nothing to do and have a duvet day 

- Sometimes I like watching "bad" TV. Made in Chelsea is a love. Must start watching gossip girl. 

- Doing my nails and make up. Sometimes getting ready is better than the night out 

- Those nights in with a bottle of wine and deep meaningful conversations 

- Getting tipsy with your course mates and talking to anyone and everyone 

- Having a girly clubbing night where dancing is the main priority

That's quite a list! Think I had better stop there but I would encourage everyone to do this! It made me feel really happy and I enjoyed writing it!

Think I might take on the 100 happy days challenge on Instagram. Hmm we'll see :). 

Lisa-Nicole xo 

Lent&AshWednesday

Hey Everyone! February ended with a bang as I went to Paris (blog to come soon) but alas March has started pretty damn sucky. I seem to have come down with a flu type thing that has made me take refuge in bed and only move to crawl to the toilet which is about five steps away. Booooo :(. Rest, fluids and paracetamol are my best friends at the moment. With being bed ridden I thought there was no better time to write a blog. Anyway with the month starting so crappy that means it can only get better right? 

So it has come to that time of year again where the Pancake Mix is a best seller and everyone decides what they will give up for lent. Lent begins tomorrow on Ash Wednesday and lasts for 40 days before Easter. However, this year I have decided rather than giving something up, I am going to take a few things up that will better me in some way or other. For some reason I just thought giving something up sounded rather negative. And nine times out of ten I never really stick to it. I usually give up chocolate, crisps, fizzy drinks and it just doesn't work, so I thought I'd change tactics. Down below are my ideas for this year's lent...

1. Take up Yoga. I have always wanted to try it and is meant to be awesome for fitness and flexibility.
2. Get more sleep. I struggle a lot with getting to bed early and getting enough sleep. To help with this i am going to set a bed alarm - like a morning alarm but rather than telling you to get up, it tells you to go to bed.
3. Eat Breakfast. This goes hand in hand with going to bed earlier. Get up so I have enough time to eat a healthy breakfast, after all breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
4. Start a savings account. To everyone who read my spending addiction blog at the end of summer, you will know how much of a challenge this will be for me. But I am determined to become better with money. So during lent I am going to put £5 every Saturday into my savings account. It doesn't sound like a lot but its a start.
5. Cook my own meals more. I have always wanted to get better at cooking, so I would like to cut down on how much I eat out. This will be healthier for me and will also help with saving money.
6. Blog more. I love blogging but I just don't do it enough. So during lent i am going to have a Wednesday and Sunday schedule, where I will blog every week. Heres hoping I stick to it!
7. Drink more water and take vitamins.With becoming so ill lately I think it's time to take a stand with my immune system. Keep hydrated and build my vitamin C back up.
8. Time for a crazy one... Pole dancing. I have always wanted to  take this up and a university near me has a society which I would like to join. Obviously this is not to become a gyrating woman on a pole, its more for the fitness benefits. Pole dancing is incredibly beneficial for flexibility and fitness and besides it looks well fun!

So there you have it :). Hope you all have had a better start to March then me and Good Luck with this years lent! <3 

"Those People"

Trusting someone is always an on going debate with me. 

The horrid truth is that no matter where you are in this world there are always going to be people who want to being you down. Make themselves feel better by making you feel inferior. These people are pathetic, but that doesn't make them have any less of an effect on you. 

Now I would love to be one of those people who can brush things off without a care in the world, but I am not. I am learning to though. I think there are two ways you get to being those kind of people - you are either born like it, or go through so much shit people's opinions completely loose value. Unfortunately I am the latter, but you know what, I like it that way. 

People can continue to talk about me behind my back, do stupid petty things to get to me and keep growing those increasingly large dicks on their foreheads because it is true what they say - "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and believe me I of all people would know this. Your bitchiness and patheticness will motivate me to do things you couldn't even dream of doing, whilst sat on your sofa at home plotting what to do to me next. 

When I get to where I'm going in life, which will be somewhere amazing, you will still be sat on that sofa wishing you spent less time caring about what I'm doing and more on what you should have been doing. 

Oh and when I give a big middle finger to the camera, just know that right there, that is especially for you. 

**I'm not even going to justify this blog with a reason, because I feel a hell lot better getting all this off my chest. In theory, yes, I should be saying this to the person or peoples faces but sometimes you have to keep the peace.. So I'll write it on here instead for you guys to read. And if you have something you need to get off your chest I cannot encourage you enough to write it down.. You'll feel worlds better. X ** 

For Those "Under The Weather" Days

Poor Patsy has been feeling poorly too...

I have had an incredibly rough couple of days, resulting in few nurse and hospital appointments . All is well, I just have a few problems that need sorting out, and right now they are making me feel really crappy.
It's gotten to that time of year that the weather is absolutely terrible (think there might be a hail storm right outside my window this very second), and for us students, we are in the middle of our longest term out of the 3. We have a month and a half to go until Easter and we are all starting to feel a bit run down... well I personally am feeling incredibly run down. I love being busy but even I know when I need to stop -  and that was a couple of days ago when I suffered with a 4 day long migraine that made me very ill *sobs*. Its never nice being ill, especially when you're away from home, so I thought I'd do a blog on what helps me get through those rough days. It is a little bit of a jumbled list with no structure... but since I've been feeling so rough lately you can forgive me :).

1. Get out of bed. Probably a little bit unexpected as my number 1, but unless I am bed ridden, I always find getting up and having a shower makes me feel slightly better. If I have lectures I will always try and make it in, they take my mind off feeling crappy... and after all I am paying for them, so no money wasted.
2. Make an effort. Now this is one that has been drummed into me since I was a little girl. When you think you look good, you feel good. When I'm ill I always get up and put my make up on, and wear something pretty. You may feel like shit, but at least you don't look it ;).
3. Have an apple. My mum always told me that if I was feeling really sick to have an apple as it will make me feel better. Never really fails to be honest. Mother knows best..
4. Still feeling crappy? Junk food time. Over the past couple of days I have gone through pizza, cream eggs and a whole packet of bourbon biscuits. Judge as much as you like, I enjoyed them and for a couple of minutes it made me feel better...I highly recommend chicken strips too. Those things are good.
5. Sleep. I pretty much stayed in bed the whole weekend... Granted I couldn't actually get out of it but that is not the point.
6. CUDDLES. This is my ultimate favourite one. I love cuddles. Whether it be with someone else or blankets and cuddly toys, they always make me feel better. Number 1 cure. Oh, and hot water bottles and tea are good additions too.
7. Lucozade. Another family remedy. Whenever my mum, sister or I were ill my Dad would never fail to buy us a bottle of lucozade. It aids recovery like a boss.
8. Pampering. Kinda goes hand in hand with making an effort however this is the relaxing fun one. Lush baths, painting your nails all pretty and face masks. "Me time" is a must when you're feeling run down.
9. Get lost in either a good book, YouTube videos, TV series or phone app. These have definitely aided me though the last couple of days, and feeling crappy is actually an excuse to not do work for once and catch up on a few things. Whether it be Zoella, Breaking Bad or Divergent, go crazy with it.
10. Take two paracetamol. Another mum quote, and I know for a fact a lot of my friend's mums say the same. If its the evening, "take two paracetamol and go to bed". This helps to bring any temperature you may have down and send you off on a pretty good nights sleep.
11. Laughter, I swear, is the best medicine ever. Put on a funny programme or spend time with friends and I assure you you will start to feel better. The new season of Top Gear is a good recommendation, laughed my head of at it the other night, not to mention Richard Hammond is just a little bit adorable.
and finally...
12. Drink a lot of fluids and rest! 

And when you're starting to feel a little better: Tidy your room and go to the gym :). Not being able to move and eating all that crap will have its disadvantages... however both of these will aid in your recovery as you will sweat the rest of it out on the treadmill and there is nothing quite like a tidy room.

Hope this helped and if you are under the weather, I wish you the speediest of recoveries. <3 

Suffering with Sleep Paralysis

Type sleep paralysis into Google and what you get is a gallery of terrifying images. I would like to say that these are an exaggeration but to be completely honest,  I think they are all on point. For years, every so often I would wake up and not be able to move. I would struggle to breath, not be able to speak (let alone scream) and be fighting against my own body for it to move. It feels like you're tied down, someone is holding you, you cannot move at all. You are completely paralysed. You can't even open your eyes. When I was younger I tried to explain it to friends and family, but no one would know what I was talking about. I slowly started to believe it was just me having a reoccurring nightmare and stopped talking about it. Feeling like you're the only one creates even more fear, however since I thought it was just a nightmare, I would ignore it. I suffered for years not knowing what it was. 

This was until about a month ago, when I had one of the worst nights of my life. I woke up about five times not being able to move, ended up being too scared to sleep and stayed up watching films. When it got to the following evening and I was worrying about having to sleep (just in case it happened again), I knew I had to do something about it. Since everything is on the internet nowadays, I typed "waking up and not being able to move" into Google, and it turns out that a lot of people experience it. It was such a relief to know I wasn't going crazy...or like some people put it online "being possessed". Sleep paralysis is a diagnosed condition that terrifies people all over the world, and there are ways that you can improve it.
For me, the best cure is that I now know what it is. Which is why I wanted to post this blogpost, to make people aware. This effects a lot of people (6% of the population) and is very rarely talked about. I don't want anyone to suffer for years like I did. Nowadays, I suffer with sleep paralysis every couple of weeks but my fear of it is much less. For me it can last anything from a few seconds to a couple of minutes. Yes, when its happening it's pretty damn scary, but as soon as you remind yourself what is happening, it's easier to get over. If this happens to you don't to be scared to message for help of just to talk. Sometimes talking about things makes you feel a whole lot better. 

If you would like to read the facts on Sleep Paralysis please go to this website: http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Sleep-paralysis/Pages/Introduction.aspx
or just look online as there is a lot of information on the condition.

I hope this helped
xxx

My Beauty Winners of 2013

**Little disclaimer, I am not 100% sure that all of these actually hit the market within the year of 2013 BUT I jumped on their bandwagon. So all of these were purchased or repurchased last year (some of them are "old faithful" products that I have used for a long time). I have tried to stick to drugstore products  for most things however there are a few higher brands thrown in there too. Sit down with and cuppa and - Enjoy :)**

Primer: Rimmel Fix and Protect Pro 
This primer has been my old faithful for quite a while. It is not expensive and has a 5 in 1 results claim - smooths, resurfaces, brightens, mattifies and protects. I have to say I have worn this underneath my make up to many a dance class and my make up has not budged. It also goes onto the skin really creamy and soft. 

However I do need to shout out to Benefit's Porefessional. This is an incredibly good primer which actually, true to it's claim, reduces pores and gives a lovely base for make-up. A little pricey, but the tube does last for a long time.

Eye-shadow Primer: Urban Decay Primer Potion
Oh my god, this stuff is amazing. I jumped on the band wagon really late when I saw a small bottle of this going for £8, but I am so glad I picked it up. My eye-shadow just does not budge. I find it really hard to find a primer as I have incredibly sensitive eyes, so some eye primers can have me looking like I've received some very bad news.. but this primer is not irritating at all. I know it can be a little pricey when not on offer, but the tube actually lasts for a really long time, and how long lasting it makes your eye make-up, it is definitely worth it. You want people to see all those hard efforts you've put into blending those shadows...

Concealer: Collection Lasting Perfection 16h Wear   
This has been raved about by many a beauty guru on YouTube and I have to agree with them that this is a great concealer. It has a very good consistency, is not cakey to the skin, and lasts all day. Whether you put it on top of your foundation or underneath it blends really well, and unlike Rimmel's Wake Me Up shimmery concealer, you can use this both on your under eyes and blemishes. It is a complete bargain as well. If you don't have this, go out and purchase it. Now. It will be a credit to your make-up bag.

Foundation: Rimmel Wake Me Up Foundation.
This foundation was also a rave of 2013. Given you matched to your skin tone it gives off a very natural, shimmery glow to your skin. I loved this foundation in summer. It really brightens, and makes your skin look really healthy. It goes on very easy to blend, and has a good consistency. It is not duey or shiny so would work on oily skin. If you haven't tried it yet, I would definitely say give this foundation a go in 2014.

Also a little shout out to Loreal True Match my current foundation. Love, love, love.

Powder: Rimmel's Stay Matte Translucent Powder
After being under stage lights, going to the gym, the half walk/half runs to uni when I'm late, it has definitely proven this powder to matte the skin. And it makes even the most duey of foundations matte. I feel after foundation I don't want to add any more coverage to my skin which is why I opt for translucent but there are tinted versions to choose from. It really does stop any shininess and it keeps your foundation where it is for most of the day. I don't think I'll change from this powder for a very long time.

Eye-shadow: Urban Decay Naked 2 Palette 
This palette is fricking amazing! I just cannot express how much I love this palette. I used it for pretty much every special occasion this year from the day I purchased it. Both times I went out for Halloween, meals out, nights out, and with the mix of colours it was perfect for most days out too. With a few mattes, the palette is mostly shimmer dominated, but who doesn't love shimmer? Like most shadows, it does have quite a bit of fall out, but a tap of the brush before applying normally sorts that right out. This palette is just simply gorgeous and definitely worth the money.

Liquid Eye-liner: Collection Waterproof Fast Stroke Eye-liner 
I have used this eye liner for an incredibly long time. To be honest I think it was my first ever eye liner, which I was given in year 8, and I've repurchased it ever since. Having had so much practice with the applicator I can now get a straight line wing in a very short amount of time. It is true when they say - if you stick with the same eye-liner you can become very skilled, and I wouldn't be able to do half the make up looks I can now without this eye-liner. It stays on all day, and is very pigmented.
The only bad point is it is not waterproof. My eyes water like a bitch in cold windy weather, and I always look like I've forgotten to put half my eye-liner on.. yeah, not a good look.

Pencil Eye-liner: Rimmel's Scandal Eyes 
My award just had to go to Rimmel for these eye pencils. They have a great range of colours and are all so pigmented. They go on really nice and easy, and stay on all day. They are not expensive and due to being a pencil they last a long time. My favourites have to be 014 bright blue (a recent purchase) and the first one I ever bought 012 bronze which I wore all through the summer. It is a great substitute when you don't want the heavy black eye-liner.

Mascara: L'oreal False Lash Telescopic
This has also been an old faithful to me. I love this mascara, it just works wonders for my lashes. Without even using eye lash curlers it curls my lashes to a maximum. It is both thickening and lengthening with "infinite length effect fibres". I repurchased this all through the year 2013 and it is still my everyday mascara. I get compliments on my lashes all the time, and its easy to use on both top and bottom lashes.  I would go as far as saying this product is my winner of all winners (followed closely by Naked 2).

Honourable mention to Benefit's They're Real Mascara. I purchased this on the only day it was on offer in January sales and wow, it really does lengthen your lashes. It is amazing. I will say though that it doesn't thicken at all, so it can leave lashes looking a little spidery, so I would personally use it in conjunction with another mascara.

Eyebrows: Benefits Brow Pallette in Medium
My one and only brow filler, from the day I started using it I just have not felt any need to change. The colour is pigmented but not enough to look like you've inked your eyebrows - that would  not be a good look. It has 0 fallout, and the brush means you can get a perfect fill with no hash lines.

Bronzer: Rimmel's Bronzing Powder in Sun Light
I just found this bronzer to give the best natural glow. It is not too orange or too dark, it just gives you a healthy sun kissed look. It lasts all day and applies really nice and evenly. I've repurchased it all year round and won't be changing any time soon.

Blush: Boujois Paris, Cendre De Rose Brune
Another old faithful. I just love the colour and even coverage of this blush. It makes your cheeks really rosy, but not in a stand out, too much way like some blushes. I've used it all year round and the pot literally last for ages. I also found that the brush it comes with works really well for me too.

And now for a lot of Lip Products...I'll try to keep them brief...

Lip Care Products: Lush Bubblegum Lip Scrub and Blistex Intensive Moisturiser
I found these were the best combination for my lips in winter. The scrub just tastes so good I could literally eat the whole tub, and if you don't believe me go into you nearest Lush store and try it. And if I have the slightest bit of dryness to my lips, one bout of Blistex and it has vanished. I would recommend both of these to anyone.

Lip Liner: Rimmel's Lasting Finish, 1000 Kisses
This had to go to 1000 kisses, as you can literally put these on all over your lips, put a clear lip gloss over the top and you are good to go. They double as a base for lipstick and a lip colour in themselves. They last all night long, as I've discovered on many a night out, are really pigmented and are really easy to apply.

Lip Tint: Benefit's Posy Tint
This tints and plumps, and is just a really gorgeous rosy pink colour. It goes well under most of my lip glosses especially soap and glory;s extreme plump and benefits ultra shine back to the fuchsia. You could also wear it by itself for a natural pink lip colour.

Lip Gloss: Rimmel's Apocalips
Again another raved about product, so these won't need much of an introduction due to it. These are so pigmented, and so glossy they are a must to any make up bag. "Big Bang" is perfect for any night out, being the brightest red you could find in a lip gloss.

Lipstick: All of my lipsticks purchased from Mac
I only have a few so far, but absolutely no brand can beat Mac for lipsticks. The colour range is spectacular, they are long wearing and highly pigmented. Yes they are incredibly high end and pricey, but when it comes to lipsticks high end is the way to go. I plan to build up my collection a lot more in 2014. My favourite at the moment is Rebel - a gorgeous dark purply pink colour.

Brushes: Real Techniques
I have not found any brushes that are quite as good as these. I have about 10 of these now, and I can't understand why it took so long to introduce them to my make up bag.Yes they are pricey, but I can't express enough how much they are worth it. They make any product easy to apply and give a flawless finish. These are the kind of brushes you wash and take care of -  you will never want to throw these away once having used them.

Nail Varnish Brand: Barry M
Essie was very close in the running for this but I had to give Barry M the egde. They just bought out so many amazing colours and effects last year, it was insane. The jelly's, the magnetics, the metallics, the glitters, the mattes.. I pretty much loved them all. My nail varnish collection probably holds over 25 of their nail varnishes. They are not as hard wearing as I'd like but at how cheap they are and how pretty the colours are, I'd say I can over look that.

Perfume: Jimmy Choo
This has been my signature scent all year round, and I am still getting compliments on it into the year of 2014. Its long-wearing, and is a strong enough scent to notice but is not over powering. I will say though - when you first spray it, it is a completely different smell to when it dries on your skin so if you do go to purchase it, spray it and walk around the shop first. Then decide. I absolutely love it, and I think even if I do change to other perfumes, I will always have a bottle of this on my side.

Overall Brand:
As you can tell by my previous awards, my ultimate winner brand has to be Rimmel London. They had one hell of a 2013 when it came to beauty products.

And the upcoming brands for me this year that I shall be purchasing ALOT from is Soap and Glory, Lush and Urban Decay. I may even be going to purchase the Naked 3 palette and the Urban Decay setting spray as you read this... You can probably hear my bank account screaming...

xxx

What is Beauty? Honestly?

2014 is here and with the new year, comes resolutions. Now, I will not put anyone down for making new years resolutions - I even have a few of my own. Drink more water, make the most out of my gym membership and for once stay on top of my work. Yes it may be a rare occasion when someone actually sees it all the way through to the next year, but if someone has an aspiration to better themselves, who am I or anyone to judge them? And so far, in all honesty, I am doing pretty well.
However, with the popular aspiration of becoming thinner, it made me ask myself the question, what really is beauty? Surely its something you see on the inside, right? I mean that is what everyone says nowadays. But then where does this insane want and need to be thin come from?
I signed a petition just yesterday against one of the most well known fashion stores  - Urban Outfitters, urging them to stop their production of their "eat less" and "depression" t-shirts. Mental illness is not a joke, and having suffered with it myself, I can honestly tell you it slowly starts to control your life. Gaining control of it was my second hardest struggle up to date - my first being loosing my father at age 11. It's something I feel very strongly about changing as the message sent out to younger children and teenagers is not right. Eating less and depression is not something people should be fashioning down the street. Urban Outfitters needs to remember real people are effected by this, and its not just about how much profits they bring in at the end of the day. If you would like to sign this petition too, or get more information, please go to this website: http://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/urban-outfitters-we-are-urging-you-to-halt-all-production-of-their-eat-less-and-depression-t-shirts-both-of-which-are-glamorizing-mental-illnesses-and-could-have-potentially-devastating-effects-on-your-young-target-audience?share_id=XuglNhjOfW&utm_campaign=signature_receipt&utm_medium=email&utm_source=share_petition
I also saw a story about a girl on Facebook, who had posted a picture of herself in her underwear with a message to everyone in the past who had told her to diet, eat less, go to the gym.. it was basically an up yours to anyone who didn't think she was perfect just the way she was. It was very powerful and received over a million likes. I have so much respect for this girl, and I would love it if more people would have the confidence to do this. To stand up to people who tell them they are not beautiful the way there are.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying anything bad about being thin. I've heard thin people say they want to be curvier, this works both ways believe me. I would sign the exact same petition if urban outfitters have come out with a top saying "eat more". We should all love the way we are built. Who says that someone with a tiny waist, is prettier than a curvy waist? Size E is better than size B? A big bum is better than a smaller one? Or visa versa. I think there is too much pressure on people nowadays to change the way they look, when in my opinion they look fine just the way they are. This goes for all the guys reading this too - wanting to be more built, more muscular, skinnier. I have friends who say they want to be prettier, skinnier, curvier, more toned.. and I look a them and think: but you're perfect the way you are.

Jessica Lawrence is one of the best role models to have become a celebrity, as she promotes loving the way you are. 

Yes I do go to the gym, but that is not to become thinner, it is to become more physically fit. I am an actress and love physical theatre. To be able to perform at my best, I need to be physically fit. However, my figure is something I'm not aspiring to change. If it changes, it's nature and not my will. I'm curvy and will always be. It's the way I was made. Yes, it has taken me a while to accept that after years of bullying about my "big arse", but if this blog post helps one more person feel comfortable with the way they are, then I will be happy.
No matter what you look like if you are a kind and true person with a beautiful personality, you will be stunning to me readers.
And if you want to change the way you look, do it for yourself. If it will make you happier. I will not judge someone who is doing something that makes them happy. But do not do it because society tells you that, the way you are at the moment, is not "perfect" in their eyes. 
Thankyou for reading this and if you signed the petition, I owe you my gratitude.
Lisa-Nicole
xxx

"You're much happier when you stop caring what people think". Love the way you are, and stop comparing yourself to others. You may think they are prettier than you, but they may be thinking exactly the same about you. Me last Halloween, sporting my curvy figure with finally, not a care in the world.

Why I Love Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone! 

Hope you are all having an amazing day. I thought this was the perfect time to do a blog on all the things I love about this time of year. 

1. The lights. Possibly my most favourite thing. Everywhere looks so much prettier with a few fairy lights :)!
2. The fact it is socially acceptable to wear as much glitter as you can. I've been sporting glitter nail varnish, glitter eye liner, glitter mascara (a Christmas pressie from my sister) and any glittery clothing I can find.
3. Tradition. I love traditions, it creates memories. My favourite family tradition is giving our Christmas cards to each other on Christmas Eve before we go to sleep.
4. YOU CAN EAT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT :D!! Just like at Halloween you can be a slut and no one can say anything..at Christmas you can be a fat pig. And since I am addicted to chocolate and stuffing, it's the perfect time of year for me.
5. Wrapping up warm in the cold crisp air, and seeing your breath in front of you.
6. The hats you get out of crackers because I love looking like a twat.
7. Christmas TV! The specials and films.. best time of year to slob out on the sofa. I am watching the strictly  come dancing special as I write this.
8. Buying pressies. I love buying presents for people. Don't ask why.. I just do :P.
9. Wrapping! I absolutely love wrapping presents. Watching some Christmas YouTube videos or listening to my favourite Christmas songs.. and getting covered in sellotape. I get to openly be a perfectionist aswell. Love it.
10. Getting to dress up and go full out on the make up. I'm sporting a smokey eye and red lip. Perfect for Christmas. (Instagram: @lisanicolest)
11. The joy. Everyone is merrier when its getting near to Christmas.
12. The hussle and bussle of the high-street when you are doing late minute shopping, and melting in every store you go into. *heating+wintercoat= baking.* 
13. Christmas Carols, I love singing my heart out to the oldies :)
14. The Magic of this time of year <3 
AND
15. Family Time. Treasured moments I shall never forget. We also get to remember the past Christmases with family who are not here any more. Beautiful memories that are always in my heart. Everyone has their own idea of what Christmas is about for them but for me, it's about spending time with loved ones.

Hope you all have an amazing Christmas and are blessed with all you wish you for.
Love Lisa-Nicole xxxx

Dancing

"I can't really explain it,
I haven't got the words
It's a feeling that you can't control
I suppose it's like forgetting, losing who you are
And at the same time something makes you whole
It's like that there's a music playing in your ear
And I'm listening, and I'm listening and then I disappear

And then I feel a change
Like a fire deep inside
Something bursting me wide open impossible to hide
And suddenly I'm flying, flying like a bird
Like electricity, electricity
Sparks inside of me
And I'm free I'm free"

Electricity, Billy Elliott The Musical

Billy Elliott described it absolutely perfect, the feeling that I get when I dance. I mean really dance. Loosing your body and soul into a piece of artwork performed to music. The emotions that connect, the complete feeling of euphoria that sweeps over you. The only thing that comes close to it, is the feeling I get when I'm acting on stage.
Doing theatre for a degree will always be one of the best decisions I have ever made, however I can't help but feel the need to go further in my dance. To train again, to choreograph, to feel the ache of muscles and know you've done a dance well. I cannot describe to you how much I miss it. Since starting dance from the age of 6, continuing dance and becoming an Olympic level 5 cheerleader, these past months are the longest I've gone without being in a competition or training, and the withdrawal systems have set in.
Its time to become the person I used to be. Due to a few personal issues in my life - my diet, flexibility and fitness have all become worse than they used to be, and its time to grab the bull by the horns and do something about it. It is the New Year after all.
So stay tuned for my personal journey in taking my dance further. I am also looking into starting my own contemporary society at my university, nothing is certain, lets just see how it goes. Fingers crossed.

I'm really looking forward to getting back to the old me <3

"Success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

"Go the extra mile, it is never crowded."  

Once Flown...Can You Call It Home?

It has been over a year since I flown the nest, and having taken a couple of months to get over the home sickness, I embraced my independence. There is a complete freedom in living by yourself, which is what I love about it.  You can come and go whenever you want it, have it as tidy or a messy as you like, have your friends round whenever... However there are a few things I completely miss about home. Seeing my mum everyday, central heating (gas and electric bills are an absolute bitch), home cooked food (as no matter how many times you cook chilli con carne it will never be as good as your mum's), my bunny rabbit Pebbles, my school/college friends, and that security of always feeling safe.
I have a beautiful house where I go to Uni, however the area can be a little rough sometimes. It has made me a lot more street wise though, now nothing really phases me. The tramp that lives at the end of my road who always asks me to "Come cook him dinner tonight" is just another man I pass everyday on the way home. I guess at least one time in your life you have to live somewhere rough to really appreciate where you feel secure.
I also have a beautiful house in my home town, even though my bedroom has been needed to be decorated for years, there is a sense of empathy there. You know those awful choices you make as a teenager that when you're a little older you just think "what the fuck teenage self"... yeah that's my room now. But I still love it, as that's where I became who I am today.
But do I call either of them my actual home? The truth is I love both of these places. Both have people I have come to know and love over my lifetime, and when I'm in one place there will always be a part of me that misses the other. So really I am writing this blog to let everyone know, who makes my life so amazing in both "homes" that I am truly thankful, and appreciative to have them in my life. I know it's a big slab of cheese, but hey, its Christmas :).

"You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place."
xxx

November/December Favourites

Due to it being a little too late for November favourites and a little too early for December Favourites I've decided to pack them all together in a BIG TWO MONTH FAVOURITES :). **everyone cheers**
I have been using all these products for quite a while, they have all worked wonders and I would recommend each of them to anyone.

^^^Everything included in my monthly favourites this month can be seen above^^^

1) My Number One Favourite is: 

Models Own Glitter Nail Varnish in the shade Southern Lights. This makes your nails look so beautiful as it shimmers and glitters so much. I find myself just looking down at my nails watching them sparkle. Its also incredibly Christmassy. I always think you can't go wrong with some glitter nail varnish at Christmas. And its very hard wearing. Being a student and chucking myself about everywhere means I know how hard wearing a nail varnish is, and this does not chip easy!  Beautiful and Brilliant :). 

2) Champneys, Spa Indulgence, Distant Shores Body Butter

Everyone loves when Boots has a 3 for 2 day or double points, and I always take complete advantage of them - meaning I'm meant to be buying Christmas presents but really I buy loads of treats for myself I don't really need. It was one of these bank account busting days that I found myself in the luxury pamper isle and came across this this body butter. And, oh my god, it smells amazing. Think I may have stood in the shop for at least ten minutes just smelling it, before I decided I couldn't walk out without having purchased it...and the foaming shower gel too. Whoops. They are a little more pricey than the products I usually buy, but they are so worth it. If you want your skin to be smooth and smell gorgeous, buy this product. (And if you're like me the bubble bath and shower gel too.)

3) Elnett Satin, 3 Days Straight, Heat Protect Styling Spray

Many people will know that I have been faithful to Aussie products for years, and use bottle after bottle of their heat protector. However, when both Boots and Superdrug were out of stock of Aussie, I picked up Elnett's. It is fairly new on the market and I was a little bit worried about using it...but now I am forever changed. This heat protector is incredible. It leaves your hair feeling so soft, silky and healthy. It deals with all frizz and fly aways, and smells really really good. 

4) Santa's Lip Scrub by Lush 

Winter is really harsh on the lips and there is not one thing I can't stand more than dry lips. First sign of chapped lips and I am out buying lip products. This year was no different, and since it was time for lush to bring out all their Christmas stock I headed straight there and found this. Now not only does it leave your lips really smooth.. I could actually just sit there and eat it, that's how good it tastes! Its like drinking a bottle of Cherry Cola. It is a little bit pricey at £5.50 (if I remember rightly) but I would say this product is definitely worth it. It's limited edition, as it is a Christmas product but it has me tempted to buy a second just so I don't run out. 

5) Boots Essentials Moisturising Lotion 

I use this every day and night on my face and it has literally left my skin incredibly soft. It smells of cucumber and gives you a really fresh faced feeling after taking off your make up at night, or after your shower in the morning. Its for all skin types and it has UV protection which is incredibly handy for summer. Its also incredibly affordable at £1.99 - a real student product. 

6) Simple, Kind to Eyes, Revitalising Roll On 

The life of a theatre can be an incredibly tiring one at times, with rehearsals for my last show running 9am to 11pm. Early mornings and late nights are horrible on the under eyes. This stuff can turn even my most tired eyes into bright awake sparkly ones :). Its really refreshing, also smells of cucumber, and states its even for the most sensitive of skin. 

7) Kerastase, Cristalliste (For dry lengths or ends)

I bought this product quite a long time ago from my hairdressers, since I straighten my hair a lot I'm always looking at products to improve and maintain the health of my hair. I used this for a few months and was disappointed not to see any improvement, but continued to use it as I prefer not to waste money on expensive hair products. Now, however, the improvements are amazing. One of those products that takes a long time to work but when it does it has the wow factor. My hair is left amazingly silky smooth after using this product, and it helps to keep my hair straight. It smells good too. Love it. 

And there you have it, all my favourites for the months of November and December :).

Thankyou for reading! 

xxx

Aspiration

Wow, it has been so long since I blogged, and I really began to miss it. The past couple have months have gone by in a flash, and I thought it was definitely time for a little catch up...

So I have now started my second year of university and it is coming to the end of a pretty amazing term. I am so excited for Christmas as I haven't been home at all this term, and it will be amazing to spend some time with my friends and family back home. It will also be good news to everyone to learn I finally got over a broken heart which had been with me since the middle of my first year. I learnt a lot of hard lessons and they will stay with me for all future relationships and I finally learnt how to be single. I learnt a lot about myself and am now looking forward to a future which I am very confident I will absolutely love.

Theatre is still my absolute number one love, and the reason why over the past couple of months I seemed to dropped off the face of the earth. The show my beloved second years and I just put on was a massive success and our lecturer/director is very proud. I am still continuing to learn so much in my chosen craft, and am so grateful for knowing I'm exactly where I want to be in life.

I have also decided in my future to become a journalist. The theatre industry is one I will always hold close to my heart and I will still pursue my dreams of becoming a successful actor.. however theatre jobs and opportunities are becoming scarce and it will be very hard to get by and survive in low points of my career (Low points should be expected by any realistic aspiring actor. I do have complete faith in myself but faith and realism need to come hand in hand). So I have turned to a second love which really began to show itself in my first year at university - writing. This is an aspiration that I'm not sure how to begin or where it will go, but I am going to love finding out.

This brings me to the point of my blog. The topics I will now be including in this blog are ones that interest me and I hope to bring a new level of professionalism to it. I'm not sure what I will talk about yet, it may be a case of sitting in front of the computer and writing whatever comes to me, but that'll still work for me. I will still be posting beauty blogs and experiences :) just with a few new topics and debates appearing.

Hope you'll still enjoy it, and I am so glad to be back after a long absence. Hopefully this all goes to plan...

Wish me luck ;)

xxx

They Say Money Can't Buy You Happiness... They Lie.

OK so here I am admitting it.

I, Lisa-Nicole Stevens, have a major spending problem.

*Warning, this blog contains my thought process...and yes I do swear in my thoughts. Whoopsie* 

 

So it's that time of year where we all go up a year in whatever education we are in, or go out alone into a permanent job. And real life just comes along and kicks you up the arse. Hard.

For me, its realising if I have any - and I mean any - money in my account I will go around chucking it about like it's monopoly money, not giving a shit until my card is declined, and then think fuuuuuuccckkk. What do I do now? That daunting feeling just hits you, and you go home lay on your bed with all your new pretty clothes and beauty products around you, kidding yourself thinking its ok I have new, "arse looks good" jeans and glittery eye liner. Until the next time you walk through the high street and think "oh my gosh I just have to have the flowery hair band, I'm like, never going to wear". And no matter how many new clothes you buy you will always have those "I have nothing to wear days" even though clothes are bursting out of every piece of storage you bloody well own*. *(My life hash tag moment right there).

Of course I'm not the only female that goes through this. Thank you God. I have no idea when I developed this habit. Hmmm.. Actually I do... when I was younger I had a "build a bear" cat called Muffy that just had to have the new ice skater outfit and the new teddy bear converses. Sad.. I know. (**Just a disclaimer, I paid with my own money from birthdays and things and used to get told off as i had so much teddy bear stuff. I was not spoilt :P.**) And this "have to have" attitude has pretty much carried on through my teens and into becoming a young woman who thinks eat and pay rent... or have those amazing red high heels. No awards for guessing which choice I'll pick. And yes I have a million clothes I don't wear on a regular basis, nail varnishes I barely use, and shoes that are just too bloody pretty to wear to either Kasbah or Hush. (Both night clubs in Coventry). But you know what, when I was having a bad day, buying those ridiculously high sparkly heels made everything better. And it meant I didn't have to work my butt off in the gym for a lot longer than I usually do because I'd stuffed a whole bar of Cadbury's Creations down my throat.

BUT..

The time has come for me to finally reign in my spendings *cue retailer screams*. 

I have over £3000 pound rent to pay and I need to actually keep myself alive. You know like, eat and stuff. Heard that's pretty important...

Why don't you get a job I hear you say.. Well I would already have one if they weren't such a nightmare to get hold of. I've been applying all summer and once I finish this blog I shall be applying for even more. 

Until I finally get one though, there's no more splurging for me :(. 

I am now going to go cry into my pillow whilst begging for someone to hire me. I can hear you all wish for my life right now :P.

And when I have a bad day... Well I guess it's the gym for me. Least I'll thighs of steel I suppose. 

Oh, and for anyone in my position as you read this, this saying always helps me - 

Some people are so poor, all they have, is money.

xxx

People never understand "Leave Me Alone"

**For those of you who don't like ranting blogs I would turn away now as this one could get a little ugly.**

It's not really like me to blast my anger all over the internet (or maybe it is) but there seems to be a phrase that no one in the world who speaks english seems to understand. "Leave Me Alone".
Everyone has their bad days. And I swear most people/girls when they are having one want to curl up with their favourite comfort food and be left the hell alone. So why, when you are the one who wants the space, can they not give you the same respect?
You may say it's because "they didn't realise", but all the warning signs are there. The irritated high volumed voice, short responses, the face that clearly means "don't fuck with me today or I'll punch you in the face".
So when you see that face, don't go up to the person with that stupid happy smile and say "who died" because you know what dumbass...someone may have died in their family. And you will get punched in your face. And you'll only have yourself to blame.
Another thing to not do is try to explain to the person why they are feeling the way they are. Why the hell would they need you to say that to them? I think that possibly...they may already know. And you're just going to piss them off even more, and higher your chances of getting kicked in the throat.

So why? Why do people do this. It literally baffles me.

Obviously I'm not saying this applies to everyone, but if I'm having a bad day I don't want jokes, hugs, explanations, sympathy - none of that. I want to cry into my pillow with a big bar of chocolate, pray and be left the hell alone. And maybe punch my wall, which I instantly regret afterwards and can't move my hand for the rest of the day. Then a couple of days later when I've gotten over everything (and my hand has recovered), THEN you can approach me to provoke a bitching sesh that will probably make us laugh till our sides hurt. But until then, leave me alone.

Hmm.. Maybe I need an "approach at own risk t-shirt"..
Or just to write fuck off on my forehead.
Sure that will go down a treat. 


P.S I make myself laugh :)

August Favourites

Bonjour tout le monde!

Just a little apology before I start this blog because I have not been posting as recently as I would like to. Birmingham, London, Poland and Paris have been my main locations of the summer and I just haven't had the time to blog. However, in approximately two weeks I will be moving into my first house back in Coventry with the girls **majorly exciting times** and will be posting more regularly. Think I will set a couple of days each week where I will be sure to blog :).

So, without further ramblings, here are my Monthly Favourites for August. Since I've been traveling a lot over summer, quite a few of these products are travel based. Enjoy :).

1) Escada Taj Sunset - 

I purchased this fragrance way back in Easter at the airport coming back from Magaluf, and I have to say it has been the best summer fragrance. It has a really sweet, gorgeous smell and just gets you ready to enjoy a day of sun. Unfortunately, I think this fragrance is a "travel exclusive" so you can only pick it up at airports, but I do recommend making a purchase of it if you are going away any time soon, as it just smells amazing. 

2) Vitamin C, Energising Face Spritz 

If you travel a lot in Summer whether its exploring different countries or making long journeys on public transport, this is a very handy product to keep in your hand bag. Smelling sweetly of oranges, its an instant, refreshing pick me up for when your just getting that little bit too hot. The vitamin C advantage comes from Amazonian Camu-Camu and Community Trade Aloe Vera, and leaves your skin feeling really soft. The spritz also helps to set make-up which is a great added plus for any girl on the go. This product can be purchased from The Body Shop. 

3) Absinthe Purifying Hand Cream 

Another purchase from the Body Shop and another great product for on the go. The thing that made me fall in love with this product was the smell. I just love it. It is so fresh and clean. It leaves your hand smelling and feeling great. The product is for all skin types and just makes your hands feel so so fresh, which is just great for traveling, especially when you've been on the underground or metro. 

4) Soap and Glory's "Clean, Girls Skin Softening Creamy Body Wash"

I bought this in travel size for my recent trip to Paris (a blog will be going up very soon) and I just have to find out if there is a big size because this body wash is incredible. It leaves your skin so soft and it leaves you smelling great for the whole day. The bottle claims the body wash to have a built-in moisturizing matrix, and the amazing smell is a mixture of natural vanilla fruit and orchid extracts. This product quickly became one of my all time favourite body washes. 

 

5) Rimmel London's Lasting Finish Lip Pencils "1000 kisses" 

I was given one of these in the colour 004 Indian Pink  by my gorgeous best friend Kathy for my Birthday, and it is amazing. the colour comes out a lot more red than the name suggests and is incredibly pigmented, with very easy application. I wore it out the other night underneath my "Apocalips" in the colour Big Bang (major love for this product too) and it lasted all night. Very very impressed with this product. Its also a pencil rather than a twist up product so you get a lot more for the price you pay. 

6) Natural Collection Eye Lines in White

With traveling you can get extremely tired, so recently I have been applying white eyeliner to the inside corner of my eyes to create that big eyes, wide awake look - a trick I learnt off my YouTube beauty gurus - and it really does work. I have had several compliments and would really recommend this to anyone suffering long nights and early mornings. 

7) Revlon, Colour Burst, Lip Butters 


I just love these beauty products. They come in great colours and great for keeping your lips smooth. They are really pigmented and are an exact cross between a lip stick and a lip balm. 
 Lip stick can sometimes leave lips really dry so these are a great substitute. I have them in the colours - 015 Tutti Frutti, 025 Peach Parfait and 075 Lollipop (which my sister has seem to have stolen) and I love them all. 015 and 075 are great for nights out, and 025 is a nice natural pink for daily wear.

8) Maybelline Baby Lips 

Another lip balm product quite similar to the last. These are also great. They come in colours or just a normal lip balm. Smell good, taste good and are great for on the go. I used one in the colour "Pink Punch" (on the left) all the time I was in Paris and I loved the product.






 9) Olive Oil Leave In Conditioner

I have been using this for a couple of months now and am really starting to notice a difference in my hair. In summer there is a whole lot of extra heat added to your hair, and if you also straighten your hair you really have to take extra precautions to ensure your hair stays healthy. Now during summer I actually stopped straightening my hair as much, left it to my natural curls, and used this product every time I washed it. "This conditioner helps to preserve moisture balance and protect against daily styling. Perfect for daily use to promote healthy, silky hair". I would completely agree with this statement, my hair feels silky smooth and has a natural shine (even though I coloured my hair recently). It has also grown which I am so happy about. A great product to help return health to damaged hair and it smells good too.

10) L'Oreal Paris Recital Preference Hair Dye (with high shine elixir)

Being a student, you don't always have the money to go and get your hair dyed in a salon, so for a do it at home job, this is a great product. I was in major need of a re-dye when I came back from Paris and this did the job so well. It covered the whole of my hair without making the roots go a complete different colour - (a major problem with other at-home dyes). The high shine elixir that you add to the dye helps keep your hair smooth and shiny rather than having that dry feeling you usually get after a dye on the cheap. The colour is really rich and not patchy. A great, cheap product at around £7.

And last but not least...

11) My Kindle :)

I received a Kindle from my mum for my birthday and it has barely left my sight since. With all the traveling it has just been awesome. Journeys go so much quicker when you're into a really good book, and for a theatre student its a really quick way of purchasing and reading plays. Also with recently re-decorating my room I realized how much room all my books take up and even though I will always love my paperbacks, kindles are a lot more convenient. I also get through books a lot quicker, which will help when I am actually meant to be reading my academic books for research and essays. 

Books I would recommend reading if you liked "The Hunger Games" as much as me: 
- Divergent 
- Matched
And 
- Shattered Promises 

So that's all my favourites for this month, hope you liked it and I will be blogging again soon. 

xxx