"Those People"

Trusting someone is always an on going debate with me. 

The horrid truth is that no matter where you are in this world there are always going to be people who want to being you down. Make themselves feel better by making you feel inferior. These people are pathetic, but that doesn't make them have any less of an effect on you. 

Now I would love to be one of those people who can brush things off without a care in the world, but I am not. I am learning to though. I think there are two ways you get to being those kind of people - you are either born like it, or go through so much shit people's opinions completely loose value. Unfortunately I am the latter, but you know what, I like it that way. 

People can continue to talk about me behind my back, do stupid petty things to get to me and keep growing those increasingly large dicks on their foreheads because it is true what they say - "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and believe me I of all people would know this. Your bitchiness and patheticness will motivate me to do things you couldn't even dream of doing, whilst sat on your sofa at home plotting what to do to me next. 

When I get to where I'm going in life, which will be somewhere amazing, you will still be sat on that sofa wishing you spent less time caring about what I'm doing and more on what you should have been doing. 

Oh and when I give a big middle finger to the camera, just know that right there, that is especially for you. 

**I'm not even going to justify this blog with a reason, because I feel a hell lot better getting all this off my chest. In theory, yes, I should be saying this to the person or peoples faces but sometimes you have to keep the peace.. So I'll write it on here instead for you guys to read. And if you have something you need to get off your chest I cannot encourage you enough to write it down.. You'll feel worlds better. X ** 

For Those "Under The Weather" Days

Poor Patsy has been feeling poorly too...

I have had an incredibly rough couple of days, resulting in few nurse and hospital appointments . All is well, I just have a few problems that need sorting out, and right now they are making me feel really crappy.
It's gotten to that time of year that the weather is absolutely terrible (think there might be a hail storm right outside my window this very second), and for us students, we are in the middle of our longest term out of the 3. We have a month and a half to go until Easter and we are all starting to feel a bit run down... well I personally am feeling incredibly run down. I love being busy but even I know when I need to stop -  and that was a couple of days ago when I suffered with a 4 day long migraine that made me very ill *sobs*. Its never nice being ill, especially when you're away from home, so I thought I'd do a blog on what helps me get through those rough days. It is a little bit of a jumbled list with no structure... but since I've been feeling so rough lately you can forgive me :).

1. Get out of bed. Probably a little bit unexpected as my number 1, but unless I am bed ridden, I always find getting up and having a shower makes me feel slightly better. If I have lectures I will always try and make it in, they take my mind off feeling crappy... and after all I am paying for them, so no money wasted.
2. Make an effort. Now this is one that has been drummed into me since I was a little girl. When you think you look good, you feel good. When I'm ill I always get up and put my make up on, and wear something pretty. You may feel like shit, but at least you don't look it ;).
3. Have an apple. My mum always told me that if I was feeling really sick to have an apple as it will make me feel better. Never really fails to be honest. Mother knows best..
4. Still feeling crappy? Junk food time. Over the past couple of days I have gone through pizza, cream eggs and a whole packet of bourbon biscuits. Judge as much as you like, I enjoyed them and for a couple of minutes it made me feel better...I highly recommend chicken strips too. Those things are good.
5. Sleep. I pretty much stayed in bed the whole weekend... Granted I couldn't actually get out of it but that is not the point.
6. CUDDLES. This is my ultimate favourite one. I love cuddles. Whether it be with someone else or blankets and cuddly toys, they always make me feel better. Number 1 cure. Oh, and hot water bottles and tea are good additions too.
7. Lucozade. Another family remedy. Whenever my mum, sister or I were ill my Dad would never fail to buy us a bottle of lucozade. It aids recovery like a boss.
8. Pampering. Kinda goes hand in hand with making an effort however this is the relaxing fun one. Lush baths, painting your nails all pretty and face masks. "Me time" is a must when you're feeling run down.
9. Get lost in either a good book, YouTube videos, TV series or phone app. These have definitely aided me though the last couple of days, and feeling crappy is actually an excuse to not do work for once and catch up on a few things. Whether it be Zoella, Breaking Bad or Divergent, go crazy with it.
10. Take two paracetamol. Another mum quote, and I know for a fact a lot of my friend's mums say the same. If its the evening, "take two paracetamol and go to bed". This helps to bring any temperature you may have down and send you off on a pretty good nights sleep.
11. Laughter, I swear, is the best medicine ever. Put on a funny programme or spend time with friends and I assure you you will start to feel better. The new season of Top Gear is a good recommendation, laughed my head of at it the other night, not to mention Richard Hammond is just a little bit adorable.
and finally...
12. Drink a lot of fluids and rest! 

And when you're starting to feel a little better: Tidy your room and go to the gym :). Not being able to move and eating all that crap will have its disadvantages... however both of these will aid in your recovery as you will sweat the rest of it out on the treadmill and there is nothing quite like a tidy room.

Hope this helped and if you are under the weather, I wish you the speediest of recoveries. <3 

Suffering with Sleep Paralysis

Type sleep paralysis into Google and what you get is a gallery of terrifying images. I would like to say that these are an exaggeration but to be completely honest,  I think they are all on point. For years, every so often I would wake up and not be able to move. I would struggle to breath, not be able to speak (let alone scream) and be fighting against my own body for it to move. It feels like you're tied down, someone is holding you, you cannot move at all. You are completely paralysed. You can't even open your eyes. When I was younger I tried to explain it to friends and family, but no one would know what I was talking about. I slowly started to believe it was just me having a reoccurring nightmare and stopped talking about it. Feeling like you're the only one creates even more fear, however since I thought it was just a nightmare, I would ignore it. I suffered for years not knowing what it was. 

This was until about a month ago, when I had one of the worst nights of my life. I woke up about five times not being able to move, ended up being too scared to sleep and stayed up watching films. When it got to the following evening and I was worrying about having to sleep (just in case it happened again), I knew I had to do something about it. Since everything is on the internet nowadays, I typed "waking up and not being able to move" into Google, and it turns out that a lot of people experience it. It was such a relief to know I wasn't going crazy...or like some people put it online "being possessed". Sleep paralysis is a diagnosed condition that terrifies people all over the world, and there are ways that you can improve it.
For me, the best cure is that I now know what it is. Which is why I wanted to post this blogpost, to make people aware. This effects a lot of people (6% of the population) and is very rarely talked about. I don't want anyone to suffer for years like I did. Nowadays, I suffer with sleep paralysis every couple of weeks but my fear of it is much less. For me it can last anything from a few seconds to a couple of minutes. Yes, when its happening it's pretty damn scary, but as soon as you remind yourself what is happening, it's easier to get over. If this happens to you don't to be scared to message for help of just to talk. Sometimes talking about things makes you feel a whole lot better. 

If you would like to read the facts on Sleep Paralysis please go to this website: http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Sleep-paralysis/Pages/Introduction.aspx
or just look online as there is a lot of information on the condition.

I hope this helped
xxx